MODERN ACRONYMS --------------- OINKs one income, no kids DINKs double income, no kids PINKs private income, no kids LINCs low income, nine cats NINKs no income, nine kids DUDs demographically undesirable divorcee PODs punks on dope YAMs young assholes on mopeds SLIFs still living in the fifties SLITS still living in the sixties SHITs suburban heterosexuals in town to swing CANTs corporate animals, no talent SIMPs sexually inactive male professionals MIDGETs mentally inferior divorced guys expecting terrific sex TOADs tennis-obsessed advanced-degree holders RUGs rich ugly guys DRUGs dumb rich ugly guys SACs sixties acid casualties SIPs single-income pot smokers DORKs damned overpaid Republican know-it-alls FDAs former drug abusers YANKs young assholes, no kids NERDs nervous evangelicals, recently defrocked SOBs son of the boss CPAs car phone assholes WIGGs women into gay guys BICEPs bisexual college-educated professionals AWOLs always working-out at lunch time SLIMEs single lawyers into money and exercise RAMBOs right-wingers afraid of Mexicans, blacks and Orientals