The south pole..........[312] 677-7140

             A drug story

   this file is an excerpt from the book "the beyond within:  the lsd story" by
sidney cohen.

   The following narrative report is from a young man who came into the lab-
oratory, was checked over, and in due time was given lsd.  He was just one of a
series of subjects, nothing extraordinary about him.  His reason for
volunteering to take the drug?  he was a psychology student, had heard about
the visual effects, and thought it would be interesting to see what they were
like.

   This is part of a letter written the same evening:

my dearest darling ruth:
   the strangest thing happened on the way to me this day.  I met myself and
found that i'm really not me after all.  Or perhaps i should say that i have
found out what it is like to exist.  For that's all there was left that
instant, at that instant when feeling, thinking, being, all were caught up into
one ebbing unity; a unity which was me, but not me, too.  A me-not-me which
stood there nakedly and pointed back at itself in a sorrowful joy, and asked
"why?" that's all, just "why?" but then the "why" didn't matter and it just
was!  i have now the strangest feeling that i'm so alone and yet so crowded.
Have you ever felt like all that existed was you, and that suddenly the reason
for your "youness" was knocked out from underneath you?

   .  .  .  I have just come back from seeing the world for the first time.  A
little over two hours ago by watch time i went out to eat dinner, and i'll be
damned if life isn't beautiful.  I sat in the restaurant just en- joying
living.  Everything seemed so clear and beautiful.  It was like looking at the
world for the very first time and thinking to yourself, how beautiful, how sen-
suous!!  the people in the rest- aurant must really have thought me queer.  I
watched the ice in the ice water, the water on the counter top, the reflection
of the ceiling in the water, i watched the wait- resses, the busboys, and above
all else, i watched the cheese melt on top of my hamburger.  Have you ever
watched the foam on a glass of beer?  what a world of delight can exist in such
a common thing.  I looked at the people sitting around, all grumpy and grouchy,
and felt sorry for them.  Can't they see how beautiful life is?  .  .  .  I re-
member looking down the street and thinking to myself how many lights there are
in the city and nobody to look at them.

   .  .  .  I think that i'm going to quit typing now and lie down, i think my
back is very sore.  So, darling, i hope you didn't mind too much sharing this
little bit of time with me, and maybe getting a glimse of what i have been
through, felt, become, what all, in this last twelve hours.  Undoubtedly we'll
have many chances to sit down and laugh about it in the future.  I hope there
is a future for us, but i hope we don't laugh to much, but then, i hope we
don't cry.  Like i said, "a funny thing happened".  .  .

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