DegPug TextFile Co. Presents... /////// Phun With Teachers\\\\\\ & +-+-+-+-+Phun in Theatres+-+-+-+-+ By Princess Leia -------------------------------------------- Restored by Mr Mullins [no period after Mr.] Note: these philes were some how lost in time, lost in space and were originally written by Princess Leia. Don't ask me where I got them when, etc. - all i know is that i have them and no Anarchy memeber will lay claim to them, though the philes do mention Anarchy and VOID. Leia, if you're reading this. don't get mad because I was asked to retype in these, so there. [all formatting, lower case, mistakes, style, has been restored.] -------------------------------------------------------------------- DEDICATED TO THE JACKAL... -------------------------------------------------------------------- And, so, yes, Anarchy Inc & VOID have another text phile for all of you VOID and the Connection Present...... "Phun things to do to YOUR favourite teacher..." written by Princess Leia So, you say school is getting you down? Your teacher is being a real b!tch? Well, here are just a few phun things I have observed, most of which I have done... 1. You can start as soon as you walk into class. late. When the teacher asks for an excuse, you tell her, "I was late because I wanted to miss the first half of class." Then sit down. This will drive your teacher more crazy than some wonderful lie... 2. You say your tecaher actually assigned you sentancees? Do you think you are too old for them? Well, then ask "May I use some or your scratch paper for them?" Most teachers will say, "Well, I guess so..." But, just in case, do not wait for a reply. Just walk over there and take the whole stack. Does your sentences say something like "I will behave in class"? Well, then, write "I" on the first page. Set it aside. Write "will" oin the second page And so on, until you finish all of your sentances and/or/ run our of paper and/or your hand starts to fall off. 3. So, now that you're be yelled at, the teacher tells you "Go sit down". Well this is the absolute best opportunity to but the teacher. Calmly walk to the teacher's chair, sit down, put your feet up on the desk, and lean back. The teacher will most likely glare at you and say "get back to your seat!", at which point calmly reply, "You just told me to sit down, so I did." Then, start taking the rubber bands that are on the desk and flick one at the aforementioned teacher. Preferbly hide the referral slips before doing this. 4. Another real fun trick, which works best with a whole bunch of people, is to have a party, without getting the teacher's ok first. Some teachers are so dense that you can actually plan this party IN CLASS. Anyways, delegate the day of the party, everyone just kicks back and, well, parties...The poor teacher is usually so shocked that he/she will not know what to do, and yet another period of class time is wasted. 5. Then, of couse, for those of us unlucky enough to have a "Closed Campus", there is the traditional "Cutting of Lunch". A Closed Campus is a dumb idea anyways. What on Earth are you going to learn by being at school for lunch? Anyways, a group of people (One of them MUST have a car!) simply waits until the teacher standing guard is not looking. Everyone then dashes to the parking lot, and hops in the car. Then slowly and quietly start the car & then take off! The poor teacher will be left there screaming "hey! Get back here!!" 6. Does your teacher make consistent bad jokes? Well, then rate them! Give everyone in the class 10 signe reading from 1-10 and every time the teacher cracks a joke, simply hold up the card, rating the teacher. The only thing that should get a rating above 3 is if the teacher droms some- thing, staples himself, or does some other unintentional funny act. (This was told to me by The Gemini Daredevil) A variation of this is to bring in a gong and gong every bad joke the teacher makes. I have a science teacher who is very fond of joking. And that usually silences him. But only for a moment. 7. When you are forced to read out loud in English, are you told to "speak up"?? Well, when told that, simply *YELL* out the words as loud as humanly possible... 8. Yet antoher phun thing to do is, on cue, everyone drops their books at the same time. This really drives the teacher insane. Before entering class, just say "OK, at 10:00 exacly, everyone drop their books". And then go for it. 9. Is your teacher a bit on the old side? Well, this trick takes planning, timing, and a good straight face. The plan is to make the teacher think he/ she is going deaf. First of all, a student comes up and screams in this teacher's ear. Then the room goes silent. Someone raises their hand. The teacher will probably call on them. This studnet then starts to ask the question not making a sound, but simply moving his mouth. Meahwhile, some of the other students begin to have silent conversations, again lip-syching them. If there is a TV in the room, turn the volume all the way down & then turn it out. Continue to ask lip-synched questions of the teacher. Pretend to yell. By now the teacher will by going absolutely mad! Then, at a signal, suddenly everyon shouts as *LOUD* as they can. This will so shock the teacher that he will be out of it for the next week. 10. Ah, yes, but now we come to my final and most phun trick to play! You say your teacher has left the room? And left the keys in the room? Well, everyone picks up their stuff and leaves. The lights are turned off and the door is *LOCKED*. The students then vanish, go visit friends, cut class completely, or hang around to watch. You will watch the poor helpless teacher some striding up, turn the knob and..stop. He will look a bit sheepish as he turns the knob harder. Then he will quietly knock on the door. Then he will knock lounder. After this being to no avail, he will seek out yet another teacher who has the key to the room. Watch his look of surprise when he opens the door jubilantly and finds..........nothing! ...Well, there you have it, 10 ways to drive teachers insane. Thanks to some creative Piedmont Hills High and Fremont High students. ...This has been a Connection Presentation (SUbdivision:VOID department) in cooperation with Rebel Alliance Industries... ...Presented in full by Priness Leia Organa..C)1984 No rights reserved! <*> Call the Death Star! New Modz! <*> 408-268-4630 <*> ..The Twilight Zone... <*> 408-253-2140 ...fare thee well... ------------------------------------------------------------------------- And now...VOID, The Connection, in cooperation with Anarchy, Inc. present... ------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Phun in Movie Theatres!" =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= ...Dedicated to the Jackal... Ah, so you have decided to suffer through yet another "Phun in..." phile? Well, hopefully, this one will be worth your while... The first thing you have to do is create a fuss at the ticket counter. I don't care how old you are or look; Try to convince the dumb tickellers that you are under 12 and can get in for the cheap rate...Usually, they will get tired of arguing with you and let you in cheaply. Then proceed to the concession stand. By a nice big bowl (?) of popcorn. This will prove useful in the future. Oh, yes, when you pay for your popcorn, pay in pennies...Also buy a coke with *LOTS* of ice... Go to the theatre itself. There are two main places where you can sit & create havoc...both of these places will be oultined in the philes to come... 1. The first place is near the front. Sit in the very middle (crawling over people to get there...) and position yourself for action. One of the most phun things to do (Which I'm sure has been done by everyone...) is to throw popcorn at ev'ryone...Mundane, but still drives people crazy... Another trick is to get up in the middle of the movie, crawl over all the people in your row, and stand up in front of the screen. Yell something strange and quickly retire back to your place... Bring a frisbee along; I have found that the movie house is one of the greatest placse to play fristbee with a friend....Just aim for that bald guy in the hat... Yet another phun trick is to say to your friend in a rather loud voice "gee, I lost my $20 bill on the floor...can you help me find it?" Immediatly, ev'ryone will begin to hunt for it... 2. Probably the best place to have phun is in the back. One of the first things you can do is the place all the ice of your coke in front of the door...watch all the instant ice skaters! Play "bounce the popcorn on the bald guy with the hat"...This can be real phun...se how high you can make *YOUR* piece of popcorn bounce! This one is very phunny (thank God no one has done it to me!)...There is *ALWAYS* a couple making out in the back of the theatre...simply bring your trusty old flashlight and, at the appropriate moment, shine it at them... An even cruller thing to do is bring a flash & flash it at them...they will think you have taken a picture of them! (oh, how cruel!!) Then there is always the making of strange noises from the back. Moo, grunt, or make some other strange noise...the people in the theatre will spend the next 1/2 hour going batty tring to figure out where it came from... 3. Other phun places incluse inside the curtains in the back of some theatres...if you're lucky, you will catch someone making out back there, if not, there are *ALWAYS* lots of phun wires and things to pull & experiment with back there...If you're real clever (and mean as hell!), you can hide back there...at a real scary memoeny, jump out at the people in the back row of the theatre...(Note:I am not responsible for cases brought up as a result of a heart attack caused by this...) Oh yes, another place where people like to make out is behind the big blue garbage bins (Believe it or not!)...Hide in one of the garbage cans, and, again at the best moment, hop out & scare the hell out of poor couple... Note that all of these are non-dstructive phun...If you want the destructive stuff, I'll write another phile... <*> <*> <*> <*> <*> <*> <*> <*> <*> <*> <*> <*> <*> <*> <*> <*> <*> <*> <*> ..And, so, there you have it...just in time for Dune...hahaha...hee hee... Written by Princess Leia in cooperation with VOIDTThe Connection and Anarchy, Inc. C)1984...No rights reserved... <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> <> RESTORATION JANUARY - 1986 by DegPug TextFile Co. Call The Works BBS - 1600+ Textfiles! - [914]/238-8195 - 300/1200 - Always Open