___________________________________
|    Silent Pholks International    |
|		a n d		    |
|	  Anarchy Unlimited	    |
|				    |
|	 in conjunction with	    |
|				    |
| Southeastern Pirates Independance |
|				    |
|	    P R E S E N T	    |
|				    |
|  "Have you kicked an Amish today" |
|				    |
|	Written By: The Ninja	    |
|___________________________________|


  In case you are unfarmiliar with the famed AMISH people, I will give you a
brief background on them.

  The Amish people are a bunch of extremely backward-ass, fucked up people who
have colonized a piece of Pennsylvania for themselves.	They are screwed up.
They do not go to school.  Sound good?	No, instead they stay home and clean
thier horses.

  Did I mention that they do not use cars or almost any electricity for that
matter.  They ride around the main high- ways waiting to get picked off by an 18
wheeler or something.

  Which brings us to fun thing #1.

  This one will cost you some serious $$ so unless you are really gung-ho and/or
a millionaire, I would stay away from this one.  What you need is a big car, or
better yet, a pickup truck.

  The Amish feel extremely safe for some odd reason when they horse and buggy
around the Pennsylvania mainways.  Boy, aren't they silly.  Set your car to stun
and accelerate.  Aim right for the horse and ram the fucker as hard as you can.
The car will probably be totaled, but that is no big deal.  Just pull out your
trusty .22 and blow the scattering Amish away.	What's even better is that
people will get out of thier cars and applaud you.  That's right - NO ONE likes
the Amish.

  Amish people are often found hanging around thier house, since they have no
other place to go.  This makes them very easy targets for things such as
multiple pipe bomb attacks, funnelating, or just all out attack!  If you are a
real sick pig, find as much TNT as you can and shove it in thier outhouse.
Remember, they ain't got no electricity.  Silly Amish.  Boy will it really be a
MEAN shit this time huh?

  You can also feed drugged food to thier horses.  Without them, they are lost.

  Seems like no one likes the Amish at all not even the dreaded Mormons.  We all
know what a nuisance they can be.  If you should happen to kill an Amish and a
Mormon in the same shot, you would be a national hero.


Here:  let's make a scoring system:
-----------------------------------

Female adult Amish ............. 10 pts.
Male adult Amish ............... 15 pts.
Female child Amish ............. 20 pts.
Male child Amish ............... 25 pts.
Amish Horse .................... 35 pts.
Amish buggy .................... 40 pts.
Horse and Buggy ................ 80 pts.
Pregnant Amish ................ 100 pts.
Amish and Mormon ............. 1000 pts.

  Let's start a kind of World Record for this.  Please keep me updated on your
kills.	All kills must be confirmed, so if you have to use a few extra bullets,
fear not ..  just as long as he dies - DEAD!

This has been part one of The Amish File

A Silent Pholks International
     Anarchy Unlimited
	along with
Southeastern Pirates Independance

Look for Part II at a good AE near you.

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